Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Dave Cameron has a new problem: he can't cycle to work any more. We offer him tips

 The only reason I'm reasonably fit is because I cycle to work, then home again. The ride is exciting, often dangerous, occasionally infuriating, exhilarating and, let's face it, mostly a lot of fun. While on my way to work, my mind gradually empties of domestic issues and I arrive feeling ready to focus on matters of the office. On the way back, work worries slowly disappear as the more immediate threat of a juggernaut or an errant pedestrian come to the fore. Cycling is a great chance to be completely alone with your thoughts (yet enjoying a bit of cycling comraderie) and get some excercise at the same time.

Now I'm not thinking that in the last few months our Dave genuinely "commuted" every day from his home to wherever he was going. But I do know that now he's got a pretty major problem. He works in the same place he lives. 10 Downing Street. And even the trip to Westminster is a short stroll. I guess there's a slight environmental benefit to working in the same place as you live - but I worry for his fitness especially with all those fancy banquets and suchlike that Prime Minister's have.

So what advice can us cyclists chuck his way? Here are some tips - feel free to add:

  1. I've spotted Jon Snow (Channel 4) and Boris Johnson (London Mayor) cycling to appointments. Take a leaf out of their books when it's a short ride 

  2. Go anonymous. With a helmet, a mask and sunglasses, no-one will have a clue who you are. That's good for security
  3. Sneak out at night. Night riding is fun and in London it can be more peaceful. Just make sure you have some good lights - and tell Sam what you're up to or she might get suspicious
  4. Tell your office staff and security people you have an appointment which in reality you don't have. That will give you an hour of free time to ride
  5. When you go on holiday, go somewhere cycle-friendly such as the Isle of Wight
  6. You're now pretty friendly with the Queen - I'm sure that garden at Buckingham Palace has plenty of room for the occasional ride-about
  7. Make the most of your weekends - strap the old bike on the back of the official car when you go off to the countryside and burn off your energy down the bridle paths of Gloucestershire or wherever
  8. That's enough cycling tips (Ed).

Anyone else out there have any thoughts on the DC cycling problem?

1 comment:

Paul said...

He'll be very well placed for a quick spin around the royal parks, if he can bunk off for a bit. Do you think his armed protection officers will have to get some bikes to follow him around on? Not sure what the protocol is for that one.