Monday, 25 January 2010

What annoys a noisy oyster most?

This was an old joke from my childhood.  It goes like this:

"What annoys a noisy oyster most?"

Answer: "A noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster most".

Obviously you have to say it out loud for it to have any impact. And while we're on these kind of jokes, did you ever do the one about the most number of the same words in a row? OK, here it goes. Imagine the unlikely scenario that there are two boys in a class, one called "Had" and one called "Had Had" and both had submitted grammer excercises.  Here goes:

"Had, while Had Had had had "had", had had "had had". "Had had" had had the teacher's approval."

Anyway - that's all a rather irritating, no doubt, preamble to me getting a couple of cycling things off my chest. Having been not biking for a couple of weeks, when I came back I was looking at the activity with fresh eyes. I was feeling very positive about it.  And it surprised me somewhat to discover the things which started irritating me quickest.  The two biggest and most immediate horrors were:

1) Motorists not indicating
2) Cars and motorbikes stopping at lights in "our" green box

I found myself getting very quickly annoyed, in spite of being in a fairly benign state. I know we all have whinges about cycling, but I think those are now top of my whinges.

So that's what annoys a noisy cyclist most. I suppose we should also be outward looking - I wonder what the top whinges for motorists are in their dealings with cyclists?

Note to self - why do I keep talking about "motorists" like I'm in some PG Wodehouse novel? I'm pretty sure this century we call them "cars".


muppix said...

> I wonder what the top whinges
> for motorists are in their
> dealings with cyclists?

... the cyclists' assumption that they are exempt from stop lines / red lights. And possibly the behaviour of riding two abreast in very small groups when the nature of the road already makes overtaking hazardous.


Paul said...

Top Noisy Oyster for me - People who nearly squash me in their haste to accelerate towards a set of lights that everyone can see is on red. Where do they think they're going?

KarmaCycle said...

Yup Muppix, I think you've hit the proverbial nail on the head. We could probably add riding with no lights or reflective gear and then appearing out of nowhere ... !

Paul - with you 100%. And on that note - fellow cyclists who are clearly very slow, parking at lights just in front of you - why?? I've blogged about it before but worth mentioning as it's so annoying! KC

Natalie said...

The green box hoggers drive me crackers. I have found myself, more than once, mouthing to the errant driver "IS THIS A BIKE?". They never seem to know what I'm talking about and look at me like I'm a loon - but it makes me feel better.

muppix said...

> Cars and motorbikes stopping
> at lights in "our" green box

I do this on my motorcycle all the time for the same reason that I do it on my bicycle; to get extra visibility. I'll stop the day that I actually cause tangible inconvenience to another road user. Incidentally, on closer inspection of my motorcycle's tax disc you'll see the word "bicycle", so I feel entirely justified. ;o)

KarmaCycle said...

Nat - I'll look out for someone mouthing things on their bike - and it will be you! Or maybe many more people do it ... I'll look out for it.

Muppix - ah! A man on a motorbike who admits to being in the green box - brilliant. Having heard your reason, I'm inclined to forgive the practice. I get worried as a cyclist if I'm in front of a motorbike in "our" green box and motorbikes are behind me as clearly they're going to go faster. Having said that, I think I can safely say I haven't had any hassle from motorbikes telling me to get out the way - they normally go past me without fuss. But I can see it would be intimidating if you're unsure on your pushbike.

JJ said...

From a motorist - cyclists passing on the inside when I'm indicating and about to turn left. What are they thinking?

As a motorist, I don't mind cyclists jumping lights, etc, as long as they don't annoy pedestrians or oncoming traffic. It generally makes things run more smoothly in my experience.