Boris bike users - an alternative user's guide?

I was struck - OK, let's face it, irritated - by a chap this morning who got on a Boris Bike and was taking the same route West through Tavistock Square etc as I was. Full credit to him for using two wheels. But the irritation was that at every traffic lights, while all of the rest of us queued like good people, he sauntered past in the other lane, coming to rest at the red light in front of us all. Lo and behold, when the light turned green, he gently ambled along, forcing everyone to overtake him. You guessed it, at the next lights, exactly the same thing again. A couple of people started ringing their bells in a very British way, but I suspect he had no idea that he was committing a classic cycling faux pas. The solution? Let's draw up some alternative Boris bike rules - the ones people really need to see. I need your help.

So:

1) Unless you know for sure you're the fastest in a pack of cyclists, never go to the front of a queue at a traffic light
2) never rely on cars, taxis, vans or lorries to indicate. Assume they'll turn anyway
3) be nice and polite to fellow cyclists - it may mean you'll recieve similar treatment
4) ditto other traffic
5) Never try to outpace a fold-up bike. You will lose. (!)

any more for the list? Perhaps collectively we can come up with a definitive top ten.

KC

The mother of all punctures - on my London bike commute

Can you see the screw sticking right into my tyre, like someone hammered it in? Well, I got that just as I was cycling along the bike lane off Tavistock Square. Clang clang clang, thought something had got caught in my wheel. One very long screw.  Here it is again.

I wrestled with the puncture for half an hour, putting patches on the inner tube, but failed as it had been shredded. I wanted to change the inner tube but didn't have a spanner which would have loosened the wheel. So, KarmaCycle, would you believe it, admitted defeat and got in a taxi with LCM (London Commuting Machine i.e. my bike) and headed home, tail between my legs. On the plus side, I had a super-nice taxi driver and together we sorted out London's transport problems. Here's another rather blurry view after I'd pulled the screw out a bit:

Has anyone else had a punture like that, where the screw/nail just plunges straight in? Was it left in the bike lane sticking up? Did it fall at a freak angle poking upwards? Did someone come and hammer it in while I was stopped at the lights for a second? I need a forensic puncturologist.

Do us London cyclists know the rules of the road?

I believe that you can be safer as a cyclist in London if you are also a car driver. When you drive you quickly get a sense of when cyclists appear to "pop up" from nowhere. This is useful information when you are then on a bike.

The other thing - you get a good sense of which side of the road to drive on. Quite often, on the Regent's Canal on my way to work, I'm surprised to find that fellow cyclists don't seem to be riding on the left. I put this down to the fact that they don't want to fall into the canal, so ride as far away from it as possible.

But another explanation might be that people really aren't used to roads, and road signs. A couple of days ago I went past this bit of cycle lane near Tavistock Square in London. I was amazed by how many cyclists did not attempt to follow the directions:

To me, this means: "OK guys, you now have to go over to the right, to the other side of the raised bit of concrete. Oh and by the way, the cyclists coming from the other direction have to give way to you so don't worry, they'll stop..." In fact, that's not how most people read it - certainly the bit about "don't worry they'll stop".  So I guess I'm wrong. Or, perhaps, it's just a really confusing bit of signage.

Sorry, I'm beginning to sound a bit ranty. I'll be quiet now.